Just Leave it be!

I'm trying to get to the bottom of this because it really bothers me. If you've been in a relationship with anyone for longer than 6 months, someone will ask the INEVITABLE question: When are you two getting married?

The question itself is not that bad. It's the idea behind that seems so one-sided to me. The reason people even ask that question is because of the horriblely skewed thought: you date someone so maybe one day you can marry them.

First of all, humans are not meant to be alone. We need people around us like our families, friends, and significant others. Humans like companionship. So when you're dating someone, you're with them because you enjoy being with that person. It's that simple. It doesn't always have to have an end result. I know women are guilty of the whole "wedding bells in our head" once we date a guy who we feel compatible with. I blame that habit on history, and also the way society puts SO much pressure on dating to MARRY.

I don't want someone to tell me I SHOULD marry my boyfriend because we've been dating for so long or whatever. No one should ever tell someone else to BELIEVE something they don't. I do believe in marriage and yes, dating someone does help you figure if you want to be with that someone or not. But that's not the case for EVERY relationship. I'm not going to date someone and think "hmm is it possible to marry this guy?" from day one. If marriage happens, it happens. If things so sour, I break up, eat a pint of ice cream, and move on with life.

The POINT of dating someone is to make yourself and the other person happy. NOT necessarily marriage!

Not everyone has the desire to live in white picketed fence house, complete with an electric dog fence for Fido in Suburbiaville, US. This isn't the 1950s. Times have changed and so have relationships.

People need to understand that there isn't a right way and wrong way in relationships because it's up to the INDIVIDUALS involved.

Amen

24 Strokes

Turning the big 2-4 tomorrow. Is there anything special about the number 24? Probably not. I still can't rent a car. I'll get a new license picture only NEXT year. lame.

But that's ok, I'll be making up cool things about the number 24. So here goes:

1) if you do 24 shots - you might die.
2) sleeping with 24 people makes you a P.I.M.P (male or female)
3) you're still in your 'early twenties'
4) 24 is the largest number divisible by all numbers less than its square root. it's divisible by 1,2,3,4,6,8,12,24...wow! :)
5) there are 24 hours in a day
6) current jersey number of Kobe Bryant
7) karat number that represents 100% gold. HELL yes
8)The Twenty-fourth Amendment to the United States Constitution is one of the Civil Rights-era amendments, abolishing poll tax requirements in federal elections.

YES.

I have no qualms about turning 24 :)

I miss girls part Deux

More than being homesick, I'm still girl sick. I really miss being able to just chat about random stuff with my girl friends. Sure, there's skype right now but 1) my internet at the apt is patchy 2) time difference 3) it's not easy as just picking up the phone and chatting.

It sort of became a tradition, but almost every Friday for about 2 months, I ate dinner with Aarthi and Svetty. We had similar tastes in topics of discussion and had very entertaining / heated discussions over dinner. There was always some random fact to be learned. There were also many embarrassing moments where we ended being the loudest table in the restaurant thanks partially to my raucous laugh. I really came to look forward to these dinners not only because we tried new restaurants (soo many in RALEIGH yeaaa), but were also able to just be ourselves. No topic was considered off-limits. No opinions were taken too seriously, no feelings were hurt. It was simply understood that we had strong ideas, but were intelligent enough to listen and remain open minded.

It felt SO good to talk about things other than WORK, or BOYS. Ok fine, so we talked shit about boys too but that wasn't the main topic of debate.

I had that same rapport with Megha. We talked twice or thrice a week over the phone and even though she was in NYC, it still felt so good to just..talk about things that we cared about like travel, or figuring out life, or plan vacations we'd never take.

I had the rest of my good girl friends to go out with, dance, receive good advice, just be myself with, and just be GIRLS and HAVE FUN! (shoutout: Sheri, Annie, Sammi, Kiwi, Carolina, Phammi)

If I want to talk and have a discussion these days, these are the following topics I have to know:

1) Sports (specifically all teams related to OHIO. cavs, browns, whatever baseball team is in Ohio)
2) Beer
3) Work (we already work long ass hours. WHY talk about work?!)
4) TV shows
5) Movie lines from cheesy GUY movies

They're nice guys. They're fun. We all work well together and have fun together. I'm good friends with some of them now but it's not just the same as being able to just CHILL and talk with girls.

blah.

Acceptance

When I was in high school, I was part of this International Baccalaureate program where we had to take a 'Theory of knowledge' class every week. We discussed various topics in the class, but the core of it was based on questioning knowledge itself.

For example, if you're reading an article that you'd like to use for a fact-based research paper, how do you judge its value? What was the author's intention? He could be either truly objective or opinioninated (ergo you wouldn't use it if the goal is garner facts) This class taught us to really dissect any piece of information you learn / research so we wouldn't simply swallow whatever we hear, but actually THINK about what we're putting in our heads.

That's all fine and dandy, except now I see myself not able to accept things readily that I probably should. Sure, it's good to think about exactly what you want to save your brain space for, but somethings shouldn't be analyzed to the point of rejection.

I need to learn to take things more at face value. Maybe it's over time and I've become jaded (sounds so melodramatic since I haven't been through any REAL hardship compared to so many) but I don't want to live life following the scientific method (Purpose - Hypothesis - Methodology - Results - Discussion) <-- WOW I can't believe I remembered it!

I want to be aware, just not on high alert. The sky is blue, grass is green, and people can be nice without a catch.

What's the difference between a Pitbull and a Hockey mom?

Yes. LIPSTICK. I think I have learned something about myself thanks to red lipstick. I don't think any girl can just wear red lipstick. You have to be comfortable enough and secure with yourself to be like 'Look at me. I'm wearing red!' If you decide to wear the bright color out in public, whether you're trying or not, people DO look at you.

I prefer to be under the radar an not in the limelight. I figured red lipsticks were meant for girls that had that innate confidence and glamor. NOT me. But one fine day, thanks to the nudging of my sister I decided to buy red lipstick. a SERIOUSLY red one. It's a very pretty color and till yesterday it was lying in my makeup bag perfectly intact. I definitely wore it a few times an walked around...

in my own bedroom.

I was too scared to wear out in public because of all the voices inside me telling me I wasn't glamorous enough, or it would draw too much attention, or it wasn't my style and a whole other barrage of excuses.

BUT for the first time yesterday, against all my doubts, I did the very scary thing of WALKING in public with red lipstick on. I tried VERY hard to not be conscious of any stares and just kept my eyes straight ahead. It was a test. I CAN wear a bright color and not care!

I came back home intact. So did the color on my lips.

Point? I'm learning to be more comfortable with myself and take risks that I normally wouldn't. The bigger lesson? Only I can do that for myself. No one else can.

I'd say that's true for everyone.

What has this world come to..

So it's pretty obvious why the US is in the shitstorm currently. Apart from excessive greed, corruption, idiocy of the past administration, and whatever else caused the economic fallout, our country has gone down the hole further in my head thanks to a piece of news I read this past weekend.

Tori Spelling's new book is on the best seller's list at no.4

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Her book is titled 'Mommywood'

W.O.W

I'm assuming her book talks about raising kids in Hollywood and the whole 'Woe is me. I raise my kids in public even though I live in hollywood, parade around my family drama, and pretend to hate all the attention"

WHAT is it like raising kids in hollywood if you're rich? Hmm..you hire nannies, live in ginormous houses, shop in Rodeo drive while the NANNY (or nannies) takes care of you kids. You work out to get your body back in crazy good shape while the help you HIRED takes care of the kids. Oh not to mention, you probably have a chef, a driver, and maids that do all the housework. Wow, Please enlighten me TORI SPELLING with your amazing writing skills how tough life is as a mom with lots of money and help.

I really really hate it when celebrities with no real talent delve into fields they're not meant to be in. They're fortunate enough to fiddle around with different career choices and make lots of money in a field that they don't deserve!!! For example: a struggling, but talented writer would have to work very hard to get a publisher to publish his/ her book.

TORI spelling on the other hand just has to flash her last name and she might end up being the next astronaut because currently, celebrities are more important in the US pop culture (not even good ACTORS)

In other non-angry news:

I had tea / snacks this afternoon at the Equinox hotel on the 70th floor with my coworkers. It was deelish. Pictures will be up soon :)

Time

I think one of the hardest things to deal with is TIME.

For example, if you break up with someone you really liked, you can participate in a variety of activities to get over that person. Drink lots of alcohol, keep busy, follow shitty advice in women's magazines (if you're a girl), and then realize that only TIME heals.

IF there's an exciting trip coming up, and you're so anxious you can't wait to go, you still have to deal with the TIME factor.

Yes, there're many instances where good things happen with time, and the outcome is favorable but it's just so hard to deal with because you can't actually DO anything about it.

I've been struggling with the whole TIME issue for the past 2 years. When I graduated college, I had a job, then got laid off, then it wasn't my TIME to find a good job until now.

NOW, I'm here and I'm happy professionally and personally, but there're still some snags. I came out here to figure out certain aspects of my life, and of course I need the t-word and lo and behold, it's frustrating. I'm definitely at a crossroads of sorts and I'm having a difficult time deciding which direction I should go. A good decision shouldn't be rushed, so I'm not rushing it but I wish I could fast-forward my thinking process and reach that goal already.

:sigh: